Tenchi 'n DnD
by Happy Cabbit Konai
Summary: Tenchi and co. sits down for a cheery little game of Dungeons and Dragons. With booze.


"You walk down the dank dungeon corridor, fear emanating just as strongly from your flesh as from the ancient time worn walls."

The players leaned forward intently, curious as to what dangerous adventure Tenchi would lead them on next.

"Suddenly, the sense that something is horribly wrong comes over you, and you realize that a case of goosebumps has just begun its traversing of your body…and then" Tenchi said with just a hint of threat in his voice…

The players anxiously licked their lips, ready, waiting…

"A bunch of girls jump out!" Tenchi shouted, raising his hands menacingly and baring his small canines ferociously.

Everyone face faulted onto their player sheets.

A large sweat drop formed in the center of Tenchi's forehead. "But these aren't just any girls…these girls are obviously excited by you!!"

Everyone looked at Tenchi quizzically. Dumbfounded, Ryoko slapped Ayeka's face.

"Really, Ryoko! What was that for?"

"Sorry princess, force of habit."

Tenchi looked around, his confused eyes seeking some sign of terror or at least amusement at his newest dungeon threat. "Well, I thought it was scary…"

"Tenchi, you screamed like a girl and ran to the bathroom when you found an eggshell in your omelette this morning" Sasami sighed and pointed out.

"Well…that was scary too."

"Who's bright idea was it to make Tenchi the Dungeon Master here anyway?" questioned an uninterested Ryoko.

Everyone excluding Ryoko (and including Tenchi) found themselves slowly pointing an index finger at Ayeka, who merely folded her arms across her chest and huffed indignantly.

"If you'd like to get something done properly, I suppose you might as well do it yourself." Ayeka groaned out between clenched teeth, letting the weight of such noble responsibility carry heavily on her royal voice. She snatched the D.M's screen and a few dice in one graceful motion, before slowly sitting down in ancient royal Jurai fashion and daintily clearing her royal voice.

"Now then…you climb out of the nasty dungeon using a few vines on the wall…"

Tenchi looked at his player sheet and began calculating the score he'd need to successfully climb out on a 20 sided die. 

Ayeka looked in his direction and shook her head. "These vines are actually magical, and upon grasping them you are whisked away to another land."

The room looked appreciatively towards Ayeka, who almost perfectly cleared her nigh-perfect esophagus and continued.

"The land of…Windaria!!! Home of horribly huge wind storms! Unless you have an enchanted royal comb +5, your hairstyle is ruined forever!! It will have tangles that take at least 3 hours to get rid of every time you awake from sleep!"

It was everyone aside from Ayeka's turn to face fault this time. "C'mon, Ayeka! You could at least put more effort into D.M.ing than you do seducing Tenchi."

"Really, Ryoko!!"

"Really, Ayeka!! Try thinking of a new line before you say that again." Ryoko said in her best haughty sex starved princess voice.

"Alright Ryoko," Ayeka responded, smiling as she rolled back each sleeve in turn on her kimono. "That's it!"

"You DM!"

Ryoko teleported into a sitting position on top of Ayeka's head. She slowly leaned her head down and stared upside down into Ayeka's face. "Hey, ya mind moving, I'm trying to think of which Pokemon I'm going to kill your character with."

Ayeka huffed quietly before puffing and blowing Ryoko down to the ground. Satisfied, she walked over and sat down next to a Tenchi still shaking in terror at the thought of his monstrous creations.

Ryoko flashed a smile at the players(and, much to Ayeka's dismay, a little more than that at Tenchi…), then gave the DM's Guide in front of her a free trip across the room. Tenchi whined a little, but nobody seemed to care. It was Tenchi, after all…

"You're in a bar…" She began.

"No I'm not, I'm in the Ryoko-blasted land of Windaria.." Ayeka pointed out.

"Fine, fine, there's a bar you didn't see in front of you 'cuz of all the wind…" Ryoko said, as she began vaguely wondering whether on not she could remember that "instant kill" spot Katsuhito had taught her the other day.

"Umm, Ryoko, wind's translucent, you can see right through it."

"BAR, DAMMIT!"

Tenchi winced and instinctively clutched fiercely onto the nearest protective object…which just happened to be Ayeka.

Ayeka blushed hotly, her head bowed slightly at the sudden coveted attention. Ryoko on the other hand, simply teleported off to the kitchen in a storm of growls.

She stormed back moments later(Tenchi holding on only to his cowardice now), bundles of porcelain bowls and bottles under each arm and a rather large green bottle grasped firmly in the grip of her tail.

"BAR, DAMMIT!"

********************15 minutes and a few bottles later************************

"A pack of rabid giant pandas are after your sake, Ryoko!!!" Sasami squealed.

"No…no…me Shampoo want drink more…." Ryoko muttered softly to the newly christened DM as her head fell, inch by inch, closer and closer to the table edge.

Sasami put her head right above Ryoko's and chirped, "Shampoo have to fight off Pandas in order to drink more!"

Ayeka slapped her thigh and loosed a high pitched laugh upon the room before she pointed at Sasami and lovingly exclaimed, "That's my sister!"

Tenchi just shook his head in disbelief and downed the rest of his bowl. "I never would've thought Sasami would challenge Ryoko to a drinking contest…not in real life anyway…"

"I also suppose you'd never thought about…about the possibility of her winning, either?" gushed a rosy-cheeked crown princess of Jurai as she slyly put an arm around Tenchi.

"Well…no…Isn't she a little too young to drink?" stuttered a bright red faced Tenchi.

Ayeka struggled to stop the swaying of her body as she stuck an accusing finger in Tenchi's chest. "Youuu…are too young to be drinking. 

Then all at once, her lips were pressed against his. She put both arms behind Tenchi and pulled him as close as possible before releasing him.

"Do you know just how old Shasham…Shashimi…Sishter… is?" Ayeka whispered lightly in his ear.

Tenchi shrugged the way only Tenchi could, his face now a lovely shade of purple not unlike the colour of Ayeka's hair. Still, the thought had never crossed his mind. "I dunno….10?"

Ayeka laughed and smacked him lightly on the back. "Brother….she's…been around since before Ryoko attacked Jurai!" 

"Whaaaa!" Tenchi looked over at the ancient being still leaning over Ryoko, her pig tails swaying as she continued her tauntings. He felt as if though he'd never really seen her before…

"Doesn't that make two old maids in the family then?" Questioned a rather red faced Mihoshi as she jumped out from under the table.

Ayeka and Tenchi simultaneously jumped slightly, emitting noises which can only be described as quite similar to the pronunciation of the collection of letters, "EWAUNGH", as Mihoshi made herself comfortable in the chair on the other side of Tenchi.

"Mihoshi, how long have you been under the table?" asked a bewildered Tenchi.

"Ummm…since you told me I was invisible, and that meant that noone could see me."

"But that was 2 hours ago!"

"I'm a good Roleplayer!" Mihoshi exclaimed happily.

"…..Now, Mihoshi, exactly how much did you see and hear of Tenchi and I.."

"Yayy!!! Are you going to get married? I just love weddings…"

Ayeka and Tenchi turned away from each other, red faced (and presumably blushing under the sake burn)

"D'you think Ryoko'll want to be the bride's maid?" She wondered aloud.

Ryoko's head quickly jerked up from the table and Sasami's assault. Ayeka and Tenchi winced.

"Me???? I'm going to marry Tenchi. Don' wanna be my own bride's maid."

"But if the rabid pandas get you…" Sasami pointed out.

"NOooooo….rabid pandas."

Ayeka cleared her throat in a businesslike manner. "Now, Mihoshi, I'd like you to forget whatever you saw…Tenchi and I doing in the last few minutes…"

Mihoshi held her head pitifully "That's a lot of things…"

Ayeka held a hand to her head and muttered something about "cheese graters" and "Ryoko" under her breath. "Okay…can you just forget about seeing us…….kiss?"

Mihoshi drew a large shocked breath before squealing, "You guys KISSED?"

Ryoko's head shot up once more. Ayeka and Tenchi held their breath.

"KISS…..why are you talking about some stupid old band in America, Mihoshi? Just cause you're blonde…"

"RYOKOOO!" Warned Sasami. "Ojou-sama to Oyobi!"

"Hai, hai…"

Large sweat drops and raised eyebrows filled the room for a moment.

"Okay, okay, now…you didn't see anything, right Mihoshi?"

The tall blonde cocked her head to one side. "See what?"

Ayeka nodded in approval.

"No, seriously, see what?"

The End!!!

Author's ending note: Hey hey, sorry if you're a fan of my "Pay the Price" series, but a DnD/Tenchi thing just had to be done…(don't worry…I'll finish it…eventually…). I know I have a reputation for slightly misrepresenting Ayeka….(She *might* hear voices in her head when she gets really drunk, you don't know that she doesn't, dammit!). Anyhow, I'd like to think I gave both main women equal representation here…(sorry CN fans…) Anyhoo… please mail happycabbitkonai@hotmail.com with your C&C or if you'd like to see me continue this series. If I get enough support, I will….(It's not that I'm emotionally dependent on mail… I just like seeing if someone gives a f***…yeah, that's it…;)


End file.
